Vacationing in Madrid: Things I’m Not Going to Tell My Boyfriend

things not to tell boyfriend

things not to tell boyfriend

“The best thing about our relationship is that we can talk about everything, even our deepest desires. And the best thing about having an open relationship is that we can fulfil them.” That’s at least what me and my boyfriend told two flabbergasted and mightily impressed straight guys on our last holiday in Madrid.

I Want to Snort Cocaine off a Black Man’s Penis

Later we went on to tell them about some of our sex adventures and hook-ups, from saunas in Sydney to the ghettos of Philadelphia. But is it really true? All these wild adventures abroad?

Furthermore how does it effect the relationship between my boyfriend and myself? I mean, can I say to him, in the heat of the moment, that I have always wanted to snort cocaine from a black man’s penis? Would it benefit our relationship in any way if I admitted such desires? Sometimes travel, and its loosening of sexual tension, can be a curse.

Golden Showers

My ex-boyfriend made a similar mistake less than a year into our affair. Finding ourselves abroad, he once asked me to piss on him in the shower while he had a wank. Fine by me, I thought at the time. Considering myself open-minded (I truly think that life is about trying new things), I even liked the thought of it for a start (plus it can look really hot in pornos).

Still when the whole business started, I quickly realised there wasn’t much in it for me. Being almost impossible to piss with a hard-on, unless you do it in the morning after a good night’s sleep, golden showers should be strictly relegated to that one-off vacation request.

The Drunken Admission

It wasn’t like my ex was forthcoming in his desire to try water sports. The only time he admitted his true desire in bed was when we found ourselves drunk and overseas.

Unfortunately for me, this didn’t mean that I would give him a cosy golden shower after a bottle of wine out on in a restaurant somewhere. No it was when we got back from a night club or an after-party at four or five in the morning, when all I wanted to do was ejaculate in something and hit the sack, when suddenly I’d have to start binge drinking tap water.

And so aside from begrudgingly having to drink bucket-loads of water to indulge my boy’s desires, how else did I feel about it? Well, if it had been something that got left behind on our trip that added some temporary spice to our sex life it would probably have been fine. The problem was that as soon as we got back home my ex wanted to make hot urine in his mouth and over his body a regular thing.

In the end it became a real nuisance both at home and on our trips. Imagine going into a steam room in Barcelona, full of naked bodies, carrying three litres of bottled water and trying to look cool. That became my reality.

Things I’m Not Going to Tell My Boyfriend

Thanks to travel then, the net effect of my boyfriend confiding in me became sleep-depravation, dehydration and sexual frustration for yours truly. Was it any real wonder the relationship didn’t last very long?

Thankfully you live and learn. My current boyfriend and I are now in our fifth year together and as for sexual requests abroad, well, let’s say I’m a little more cautious.

On the rare occasions we end up going home just the two of us when we’ve been out on our travels, I keep telling myself: “I don’t want to snort cocaine from a black cock, I don’t want to snort cocaine from a black cock!”

Time will tell as to whether I continue to keep my mouth shut.

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(Image by Brocco Lee)


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