From the moment we start to develop romantic feelings for other people, we wonder what the secret is to making a relationship last. That’s what most people want – to have a relationship with someone that is both happy and full of love, but it’s easier said than done.
People who have achieved this in life often feel that the phrase “falling in love” is inaccurate. It makes love sound like something that just happens and you’re helpless against it, but people who commit to each other long-term know that loving someone is more like a decision you make each day. It might feel like you fell in love at first, but after that, staying in love takes dedication and commitment.
If you want to know more about relationships and how to make them last, keep reading.
A lot of people feel like it’s normal for a couple to be screaming at each other or to disrespect each other during fights. The kind of media we’ve consumed as kids probably has a lot to do with that, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth.
No matter what the argument is, no one should be disrespected or hurt. The old saying “it’s you and me against the argument, not you against me” comes to mind, and it’s pretty much how you should approach disagreements between each other.
Being able to navigate a disagreement and talk about it calmly and communicate properly without losing your temper are all invaluable skills when it comes to being in a relationship.
Keep the Romance Alive
It’s very easy to remember to make romantic gestures and keep the romance alive at the start of the relationship, but constantly putting in the time and energy to make each other happy and feel loved takes more effort.
Simple gestures like a small present picked up on the way back home from school or work, telling each other that you miss them, actively making time so you can enjoy some of your hobbies together or spend quality time together in some way, are all things that can help keep the spark alive in the next few years.
When you’ve just committed to a serious relationship with someone, the topic of both your pasts is bound to come up, both romantic, sexual, and in general. It’s important to be able to accept your partner’s past and to be able to listen to it and accept it even if there are things about it you don’t like.
At the same time, it’s important that you’re honest about the things in your past that a romantic partner should know about, and trust that they would give you the same acceptance and respect you gave them.
Don’t Expect Them to be Perfect
A lot of times when we like someone, we build a version of them in our heads that might not match who they actually are. This can cause a lot of problems in relationships, and it’s important for you to remember that your partner, too, is a human with their own wants, needs, past, and probably mistakes and some things they regret.
No one likes absolutely everything about their partner and no one says you have to find them equally attractive 24/7, but the true secret to a happy relationship lies in getting to know each and every part of the other person and fully accepting them for who they are.