Let me put it bluntly – I like looking at hot women.

Not because I find myself attracted to them, (although I couldn’t, hand on heart, tell you that I would kick Mila Kunis out of bed if the opportunity arose) but because I appreciate the hard work that’s gone into having a banging body – and often that is the one thing that inspires me to get into the gym, rather than lounging around in my pants and eating pizza every night. Luckily for my boyfriend, my admiration for a hot chica has dragged us to every Hooters we passed in North America, countless Brighton burlesque shows and, most recently, Paris’s famous Moulin Rouge. So what did the pinnacle of lust in the city of love – teach me about the art of being sexy? Well…

Small boobs are sexy too

As someone who’s always had a bit of a complex about the size of my rack (or lack of it), I was happy to see that not one of the beautiful women on that stage were bigger than a B cup… and I can also vouch that not a single man in the room was complaining!

Don’t give away too much too quick

From the moment the show kicked off, there were more sets of boobs on that stage than fat, bald men at a football match… but once the novelty had worn off, (about 15 minutes in for most people… although I’m not sure the same can be said for the lone guy who was sat next to me, who I think might have cut a hole in his pocket…) the initial rush of glamorous sex appeal had become more a game of “spot the weird nipples”. It just reinforced what our Mother’s taught us, ladies – save something for the finale!

Everything sounds sexier in French

Have you ever heard Abba’s “Dancing Queen” sang by a semi-naked French girl? I swear it’s not nearly as shrill and soul destroying* as the English version.

Creating an ambience is crucial

*Spoiler alert* My illusions of seeing Nicole Kidman swinging from the beams in a top-hat were immediately shattered when the show opened with a crowd of male dancers, (each donning a pair of rhinestone encrusted dungarees that are so tight they practically have a camel toe) getting their “jazz hands” into action to a song entitled “Sparkle Dance”. Now, I’m no expert in the art of seduction, but I can guarantee that if this same scenario was played out in a seedy club in Majorca, it wouldn’t generate quite the crowds that the Moulin Rouge does. But in the luxurious, red backdrop of one of Paris’s iconic buildings, even this spectacle was kind-of hot.

Half a bottle of Champagne makes everything sexier

But we already knew that, didn’t we…

About the Author: Jen Nixon

Jen is the voice behind Scarlett Wonderland. Blogging about everything from her travel adventures, to the ridiculous situations she finds herself in on a daily basis – no story is too ‘scarlet’ for this little lady!