TravelSexLife responds to more of our fan mail courtesy of our dedicated columnist Erica. This week’s request discusses one reader’s huge untimely crush.

[one_half_first]

The Question

Hey…

This is hard for me because I have never done anything like this.. but I have a huge crush on you. I have never been able to tell you for reasons which you would quickly identify as obvious if you knew who this was.

I’m really attracted to you and I think you would be wanting to get with me immediately and I want to make sure it would be the best for us. Please write me an eCard back through here so I know it is you and we can explore more: (Click here to reply MY PROFILE and PICTURES). My username is lovebug1136 so put that in when you contact me.

Kisses
[one_half_last]

The Answer

Dear lovebug1136,

Well, you certainly do know how to make a girl blush. Learning that you are attracted to me, coupled with the mystery of never having met you and the flattering invitation to send you an eCard is just, well, the most romantic thing anyone has done for me in seconds.

I’m sure many people who read your email might think you are a parasitic pus-oozing cyber-leech who plays on peoples’ loneliness to get them to click on your link, so you can spam them, sell their details or infect their computer with viruses.

But I believe in you, lovebug1136. I can tell you’re an HONEST anonymous junk mailer.

I am confused, however, as to why you need me to prove my identity, as you emailed ME. Also, since when did sending an eCard serve as a form of identification? Wouldn’t you rather we met up in person and let me show you my passport, and introduce you to my father, who was a cop, and is really quite large and imposing?

If so, please click on this link so I know it is you and we can explore more.

Kisses.

Erica