The Travelling Couple’s Guide to Keeping the Spark Alight

travelling couples - Kiri Bower

travelling couples

Now there’s a cheesy title for you eh? Ah but who doesn’t love a good spark? A spark to light up your loins and send you into sparky spasms…Yes please.

Well all sparks aside, I must confess that I’ve been rather spark free of late. Yes you’ve guessed it; I’m in a long-term relationship. I’m also a long term traveller and one would think that all this time on the trip of my dreams would ignite hours (if not entire days) devoted solely to undercover antics.

Well you’d be fucking wrong.

My fella and I are about a year and a half in to our “Round The World” trip. We met four years ago in Australia when we were both on separate RTW trips and we got to experience the last month of the trip together. Back in those glory days you couldn’t have pried me off him with crowbar. It was all day every day and then once more for luck.

From the minute we arrived back in the UK we started planning another trip. One month exploring the world as our lusty selves wasn’t enough, we had to go back, do it all again.  Then reality hit and it took us three slow years to save for this much longed for trip.  By this stage, we’re now the best of friends but a date with the remote or a good book far surpasses the urge to undress one another.

Yes I am giving you way too much information but I feel the need to write this, as I know I am not alone.  A mammoth proportion of travellers are in fact twosomes, some are fresh honeymooners, others more long-termers but we all go through the stale phase at some point.

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And I tell you, it’s ‘travelling’s’ fault. Yes you, ‘travelling’. That longed for word, which inspires freedom and adventure.  Travelling with a partner means that you get to have all this freedom with that very person. You wake up together, you see all the same things as your partner and then you sit there at the end of the day with nothing to report, as he saw it all too.

When we were back home and we spent nine working hours away from each other everyday, I actually looked forward to seeing him, might even want to get undressed for him but now we have spent literally every nanosecond with each other, each and every day and we are bored. We love each other, we are best friends but we are bored. Excitement has blown out the window and we are left with a frost over our loins.  Sad eh? But true.

Desperately not wanting cobwebs to appear where they shouldn’t be, I have been thinking about a plan of action to rectify this god-awful situation. I know there are couples out there living the so-called travel dream and wondering what happened to their sex life, so let me share with you my master plan:

  • Firstly I need to forgive my partner for not looking like Spartacus and forgive myself for maybe having a handful more junk in my trunk than I should.  Accepting the flaws that stop you from feeling horny for each other is the first step to sexy time
  • Step away from the computer. Being a blogger means I spend an unhealthy amount of time in front of the computer. As does my partner, whether he’s editing photos or playing online games (don’t get me started) we both need to know when to shutdown.  Even when we were living in Thailand, you’d find us both in bed with our laptop rather than bonking by candlelight. There’s something very wrong with that picture
  • Date night. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in the Australian Outback or in the hill stations of India, make the time for romance a.k.a sex.  This can mean different things to different people.  Maybe it’s a candlelit meal and a bit of tonsil hockey or maybe it’s getting utterly shitfaced and throwing each other around the bedroom? Whatever it is, make time for it, otherwise it just won’t happen.
  • Spend time apart.  This should probably be number one on this list but I don’t want to seem like the biggest bitch ever. I love him really.  To preserve one’s sanity actively spending time apart is essential.  Travelling entails a lot of time spent in each other’s pockets so rather than end up irritated at their very breath, get out and realize how much you value them.  At a distance.
  • Remind yourself that the longer you go without sex; the less likely it’s going to happen. That girl who needed sex before breakfast and between meals is still in me. I am she.  She is not lost.  She’s just mildly set back by over familiarity.  And she’s screaming to get out…

travelling couples - Kiri BowerAbout the Author: Kiri Bowers

Travel Bumpkin & TraveLinkSites editor. Gallivanting the globe for a year so far. Food fanatic. Book bonkers. Will sell soul for air miles.

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Image by Fat Joe’s (?Joe’s)


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